My computer was, in fact, one hundred percent fucked. It was one of those things where you fix one obvious problem, a problem where when you see it you're like "How did this ever work at all," and then the entire fucking computer inexplicably falls to pieces. In this case, and I mean case in both senses, the CPU was trying to catch on fire because the impeller inside the liquid cooling solution had, through exhaustion or sheer laziness, either ceased to impel or whined throughout. The new Enermax cooler our engineer put on there is like a malevolent curl of alien impact shrapnel and is impervious to heat because it was born in a star.