I’m gonna start off with the bad news
I will not be able to attend PAX Australia this year. It sucks. Now let me tell you why.
I’ve been pretty sick for the last month or so. I’ve lost about 30 pounds which would be rad, except I didn’t really have 30 pounds to lose and I lost it in a pretty unpleasant way. I’ve seen my doctor a few times and I’m taking some new medicine, but then yesterday happened.
I was driving to work and nearly there when I started to get really dizzy and started seeing double vision. It was scary but I managed to creep into the PA parking lot. As soon as I got out of my car the entire world started spinning and I began puking. I puked in the parking lot and then stumbled into the woods where I continued to puke. I made it inside and continued to throw up all the way to my office. I heaved into my garbage can and then collapsed onto the couch. It felt like everything around me was spinning and so I called my wife.
Kara came and took me to the Emergency Room and I ended up spending the rest of the day there as they ran all sorts of tests. My doctor said it sounded like Vertigo but he was concerned about the double vision so they wanted to run some tests. First, they gave me an MRI which as far as I can tell, is a metal coffin powered by angry ghosts. Next, they gave me a CT scan. This one wasn’t bad, except for the part where they filled my body with iodine. I could have done without that. The results from both of these tests were normal. They aren’t 100% sure what’s causing these episodes. I’m supposed to see my doctor again in a few days to follow up, but in the meantime, they’ve told me that I cannot fly. This means I’ll miss my very first PAX and I have to admit, it sucks! It doesn’t suck as bad as my mystery, debilitating disease, but it’s still pretty shitty. Jerry’s going to break down how things will be different since I won’t be there. I apologize to all the PA fans down there who were hoping to have uncomfortable interactions with me.
Please do the Tim Tam slam in remembrance of me.